The Art of Forgiveness
Forgiving is not easy, if it was everyone would do it. Families and other relationships have been torn because of the inability to forgive. But if you think about it, so much time and energy is wasted by maintain this anger.
You are giving that person control over you. You think about how they have wronged you, then you analyze and analyze the situation until you are left feeling numb. Rehashing the situation with others just feels you with more anger as you nitpick every message that was sent or every word that was spoken.
You do this over and over, and over. And it gets you nowhere.
There is a difference between forgiving and forgetting. Do not forget what that person has done, but forgive them and hold no animosity. There is a saying, “ Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”.
Do not continuously put yourself in situations that you know will leave you hurt. For example, this person always drags you into the middle of their relationship and you listen and provide advice on how you would salvage the situation. The problem is when said person throws you under the bus and blames their problems on you. It bothers you and yet you keep trying to help. Only to get lashed out at by both parties.
So what do you do here?
You forgive them for not being there when you had a situation. You even forgive them for using your son’s death as a reason to lash out at others.
But you do not forget.
And because you have forgiven, they have no hold on you. You do not lose sleep and you are instead at peace.
But because you have not forgotten their actions, you put yourself first and take that first step towards living a blessed and stress free life.