Last weekend I had Saturday and Sunday off, so I wanted to do more family activities with my husband and our little boy. I had it all planned out, we were going to get up early and take the dogs to walk at our local park. Maybe even get ice cream afterwards.
I spent so much time being focused on this plan for Saturday that I allowed myself to become angry when my plan was not going how I envisioned.
So, the day before, I left the trash bag out and our oldest husky got into it while we were away grocery shopping. I was pretty upset with myself because I forgot to throw the trash out before we left. Fast forward to Saturday, our Baldwin is now doing his business in the house and vomiting. The first time it happened, I just cleaned up the mess and thought nothing of it. He is old, so maybe he’s having issues. But then it kept happening all day, so much so that I didn’t even feel comfortable leaving to go to the park.
When Baldwin first had his accident, I figured, oh maybe it’s because he’s older and I didn’t move fast enough to take him out. I was still pretty determined that we were all going to go to the park. I tried getting my husband up, and he would just look at me, and then fall right back asleep. Because I was so focused on my plan for the day, this annoyed me greatly. When he finally got up it was closer to noon, and Baldwin had had more accidents since then.
My usually happy baby was extremely sassy, though I suspect that he was picking up on mommy’s bad mood. My husband didn’t get up until noon, the dog was having accidents, and I was getting more and more frustrated with how the day was going.
I ended up hanging out in my bedroom for a bit, because I realized that I needed to check myself. No, things were not going the way that I planned, but that shouldn’t have made me lash out at my husband. He was clearly tired and needed that extra rest.
One thing that God has put heavy on my heart this year is to let go. I do not always need to be in control, and Saturday showed me that I have much more work to do on myself.
Baldwin is doing just fine, now that his stomach has settled. We never did go on that walk, but I still got to be with my family, and really that’s all I should hope for.