Being a working mom, I have to manage my time effectively. I know that I will be at my job for about ten hours/ four days a week( not counting weekend work). I know that my son likes to go to bed around eight or nine p.m, maybe even earlier if he had a big day. I also know that there is cleaning and working on blog posts, podcast episodes, and so forth that needs to get done.
I know that I am not alone in all of this. Call me crazy, but I have found that I need to wake up at 4 a.m for my own sanity. The times where I have put off talking to God until it was time for bed, were misery. I was grumpy, little things got to me, and I just felt on edge. The worst part is that by waiting until evening, I wasn’t giving God all of me.
For my own sanity, and to keep my relationship with God strong, I have to spend time with him in the morning. I need to talk to Him before I walk out of my home, and interact with the outside world. If I wait until evening then I’m liable to be so tired from work and too busy with trying to keep Silas entertained.
I want you to take this time out and reflect on how your day is going. Did you talk to God today? If the answer is no, then I want you to try talking to Him first thing tomorrow. It can be a two minute prayer or an hour prayer. What matters is that you seek Him first thing, and then reflect on how your day went. You shouldn’t be so quick to anger, and the little things will just roll off your shoulders.
According to dictionary. com, time management is defined as the ability to use one’s time effectively or productively, especially at work. Time management is a skill that many hope to achieve as it allows you to get more accomplished in the day. I feel confident in saying that I have excellent time management skills when I’m at work. I can’t boast the same for my personal life.
Like so many others, I would silently berate myself for not being better with my time. It wasn’t until Sunday’s church service, that it all started to make more sense to me. When you flip words around, they tend to take on a different meaning. On the surface level, managing time and time management seem to mean the same thing. Both seem to have to deal with prioritizing something.
Instead of telling someone or yourself to improve your time management skills, instead tell them/ yourself to management their/your time more effectively. You see, when say time management, time is managing you; whereas managing time is when you are in charge.
Following up from my last post, I want you to create a to do list each night. Do not go to bed not knowing your goals for next day. I also want you to start timing yourself. How long does a task take you to complete? And then add up the times. I truly believe this will help you to start managing your time better, and not allowing time to manage you.
P.S. Make sure your tuning into the podcast, Parenting After Loss. 🙂
How many of you have set your mind to do a task, only to be pulled in another direction? Or maybe you were going to work on that paper, or clean those dishes, but the cat video seemed much more appealing. Distraction, procrastination, or whatever else you want to call it, is a common trick that the enemy uses.
I’ll use this week for example. The goal was to have some posts written and scheduled out for at least this week. That clearly has not happened because my focus has been pulled elsewhere. I have noticed that whenever I am on the cusp of something, something that will better my life and others, I get distracted.
Work life and personal dramas can cause us to neglect our goals or tasks. You see, the enemy doesn’t want us to be successful. He wants us to stay where we are, never growing, never advancing.
Starting today, I want you to write out one task that you will accomplish for each day. Just start off with one, and then see how you feel after pushing through the distractions. You should feel less stressed and joyful because you have one less thing on your plate. Be mindful that you may see an increase in distractions arise. The enemy has plans to harm us and does not want us to be prosperous.
Now hear me out about this, it can be extremely isolating being the only black woman in my group. It can be extremely isolating being the only mother in my group. I lost a lot of friends in the lay-off three years ago, and now I’m in a stage where there’s a big gap of ages.
Everyone seems to be fresh out of college, and it’s honestly hard to relate. I’ve been out of undergrad for almost four years now, and it’s amazing how much can change in so little time.
Others assume that I don’t like them because I don’t join in on their sex talks or about getting drunk. I think there is a time and place for everything, and work is not the place for such talks. I feel as though I’m in the minority on this.
I saw an article that explained how you can’t be black and an introvert in the work place. Black women have a stereotype of being angry, and so when I keep to myself, working on projects, I’m seen as not social by my group. I’m seen as not being helpful because I choose be productivity over standing around in a room, chatting, while others do a task that only takes thirty minutes.
I’ve tried to shift the conversations away from unsavory topics onto more work related or at the very least ‘PG’ subjects.
I titled this post, Being The Only Black Woman Can Be Isolating, because I have noticed over the years how much harder I have to work than my coworkers. I have noticed that if I’m not in everyone’s face, telling jokes, than I’m seen as having an attitude.
I think the only way these stereotypes will change is by talking about our challenges. I could keep all this bottled up, but that would only serve to hurt me or come out in a negative way.
Last Sunday, my family and I had our Thanksgiving with the in-laws as Ben’s parents were going to be out of town on Thanksgiving day. I was a little tired from having to work that morning, but generally, I was pretty excited to spend time with family, and it was also Silas’s first Thanksgiving meal.
Everyone had eaten by the time I got there, but they were all still sitting around the table chatting. Almost immediately, my mother in law shares with me this ornament that she had made with everyone’s name on it, starting with her and my father in law. It was an ornament with all of the children and grandchildren’s names, except for Troy’s name.
My heart sunk.
I had to hold back the urge to just leave. When I handed the ornament back, she stated how she had room for four more grandkids. I know this was said in a joking manner, but at the time, it was just another dagger through the heart. This statement led to my brother in law announcing that they would be having another baby that is due in May.
Troy was supposed to be born in May.
They also mentioned that they waited until the 13-week mark to tell us. Many wait until this time because it is considered the safe zone.
My message today is to be gentle with everyone this season. Holidays can be a mixture of grief and happiness for some. While I am forever grateful to have Silas, raising a child after loss does come with its own unique challenges. Anything family-related where we have to write names, Ben and I always write Troy’s name, because he mattered.
And please do not be the person that is asking others when they are going to be having children or having more children. This could cause issues with the couple or it could bring a spotlight on what they don’t have.