Learning To Walk

As I watch Silas take one step followed by another before falling down, I am filled with joy. Each milestone bring its own set of challenges and as parents we celebrate each one as it means that our child is healthy. Another emotion hit me as I watched him pick himself back up to try once more- understanding.

Do you realize how hard it is to get knocked down, pick yourself back up, and try again? It’s almost excruciating to dust yourself off after what feels like failure after failure. I’ll admit I don’t have any secret method or sauce to push past this, all I have is faith.

Faith that no matter what, if God placed it on my heart, then it will get done. Faith that whatever it is that I am going through, I will be able to push past by leaning on God. Faith that there is something waiting for me on the other side- something extraordinarily.

Babies have this natural faith that each step is propelling them forward. It doesn’t matter how many times they fall down, they get right back up with the same gusto as before. Somewhere in the midst of growing up and becoming more aware of the world around us, we lost that unwavering faith.

I know right now may seem like this weird juxtaposition but if there was ever a time to turn towards God and turn that faith meter all the way up, the time is now. Just put one foot in front of the other, it’s okay if you stumble, it’s okay if you fall down, just keep going, and trust in our Father.

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Forgive me: I've Been Slacking

Last year I started to write a book dedicated to how losing Troy actually led towards me having a relationship with God. It was admittedly hard to write as I decided to start from the beginning, and working through some of the trauma(for me) during my earlier years.

I don’t know if I’ve ever came right out and said it here, but I struggled with depression for sooo many years. It runs in the family and it had a hold on me for a long time. So as I was writing, I was finding it more and more difficult to continue because of all the emotions that it was invoking in me.

I came to a realization this week, that I fell for a trick of the enemy. I stopped writing a book that God told me to write because I allowed my flesh, my emotions to rule over me. Looking back I realize that if I need to cry while I’m writing my message then so be it. My readers will be able to feel the passion in my words and maybe just maybe it will save someone.

I’m giving myself a deadline and an action plan to complete one aspect of my mission here on earth. If there is something that God has placed on your heart, I urge you to make a move today. There will never be a perfect time, there will always be something that comes up.

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Coronoavirus: The Prayer

Hopefully this will be the last time that I discuss the Coronavirus on my blog. Not to say that I don’t think it is important to be in the known and take the necessary precautions, but that I am deliberately choosing to spread hope and not fear. So, today, I ask that you all join me in prayer, and remember that all you need is faith the size of a mustard seed.

Father God,

We come to You today asking for Your favor, God. Lord, we thank You for all that You have done for us, and all that You continue to do for us. How blessed are we to have You as our protector and provider. We see that people are being let go left and right, we see that the elderly are being attacked by this plague, we see it all Lord, but we have faith in You. We have faith in Your vision, and we aren’t afraid Lord, for You told us to cast all of our worries unto You. You told us to not worry about tomorrow, and that the spirit of fear is not of You, but a tactic of the enemy. We stand in agreement with You that everything will work itself out, Lord, because we have You going before each and everyone of us. We root ourselves in Psalms 91 Lord during this time, let no plague come near our homes. We pray for those that are out on the front lines, risking their health to care for others. We pray for the elderly and those that have compromised immune systems. We ask that You be with them Lord. Father God, we thank You in advance for what You are about to do for this nation.

In Jesus name

Amen.

Let me know if you guys would like for me to post more prayers. I’ve revamped my devotional for bereaved families and I’ve decided to make it free for everyone. You can click here for your free download.

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I Dreamed of a Lion

On the surface my dream didn’t make much sense, like all dreams seem to do. My husband and I were staying in some house with people that I can’t put a name to. For whatever reason, there was a lion in this house.

The lion was being ‘contained’ by a small fence or barrier. Similar to a baby gate honestly. And no one seemed to pay it any mind, everyone walked past, conversed, and just outright ignored it. Which is crazy right? Lions are loud, huge, and dangerous, and yet no one paid attention to this lion that was being held back by a barrier that it could simply step over, except for my husband and I.

At some point, the lion jumped over the barrier and chaos broke out. My husband and I ended up in a nursery room. I don’t know how that happened or how we got separated from everyone else, but we got led to safety while everyone else was not so lucky. To be specific, my husband and I ended up in a nursery. Somehow I knew that it was Silas’s room. Authorities showed up and the lion was put down. My husband and I were the only survivors. Silas did not appear in the dream, but his safety was never a concern during all of this.

The dream jumped around again, and I was in a hospital. My husband wasn’t with me, instead I had a horse as a companion. The entire staff was terrified, I couldn’t understand why because horses( in my opinion) aren’t scary. The horse and I shared a look, and then I woke up very confused about what I just dreamed about.

So, a couple of things that I want to address here. The significance of a lion in the bible.

  1. Isaiah 31:4 “This is what the LORD says to me: “As a lion growls, a great lion over its prey– and though a whole band of shepherds is called together against it, it is not frightened by their shouts or disturbed by their clamor– so the LORD Almighty will come down to do battle on Mount Zion and on its heights”.
  2. 1 Peter 5:8 “Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour”

In my dream, the lion was the enemy. He was behind this ‘barrier’ plotting when he would strike and who he would strike. In this dream, no one noticed him, but me. It was almost as if the barrier caused him to be invisible, and the more I think about it, that’s what the enemy is counting on.

The barrier here is a symbol of our distractions and the result of us underestimating the enemy.

In the bible, nearly every time a horse is mentioned, its in regards to war. So with that in mind, I seemed to be prepared to go to war after the enemy was put down. I don’t think the hospital staff was terrified of me or the horse per say, but terrified of what we ( the horse and I) were about to go to battle against.

This dream was God reaching out to me, telling me of the enemy’s plan to create hysteria, and to prepare for war. I think it is important to note that no where during my dream or my reflections, was fear apart of me, and it should not be apart of you either. I know things are hectic right now, but I urge you all to put on your armor of God, boss up in your prayer life, and don’t take on a spirit of fear, for fear is not of God.

2 Samuel

Last week I just felt so restless. I couldn’t figure out why, so I went to God about it, and He directed me to read 2 Samuel 12. So cliff notes version, David saw a married woman bathing and inquired about her. She ended up becoming pregnant with his child. David tried to get her spouse to go home and lay with her. Why? To cover up his sin. The man wouldn’t go, so David had him placed in the front line so that he would be killed.


God didn’t like this, so instead of punishing David by striking him down right then and there, He attacked his bloodline. David’s son that was conceived in sin, was taken by the Lord. His other children raped and killed among one another. David had to live with this shame, the loss of a child, and the friction in his family.


Honestly, this bothered me so much that I just sat there, and kept asking why. Why God did You punish this child for his father’s mistakes. And then I realized that we aren’t supposed to be comfortable with sin.


So backtracking just a bit, I think it is important to note that I have been repenting for any inequities in my bloodline. My family actually has a history of child loss. My great grandmother had a stillbirth and lost her twin sister at a very early age.


I want you to take a moment and reflect on the questions they ask you when you go to the doctor. They ask about any problems or concerns that have affected someone in your family, right?


Neither trauma, sin, or death was apart of God’s plan for us. Our actions affect generations to come. Look at how Adam and Eve’s decision has affected us all.


This week, I want you to go before The Lord and repent for any inequities plaguing your bloodline. Don’t let anything be used against you by the devil. Take away the case that he has prepared against your bloodline.


You see, I felt so off last week because God needed me to repent for my ancestors to free up generations to come. I truly believe that God had me type of this message because He needs you to be obedient and free up your bloodline.

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