Forgive me: I've Been Slacking

Last year I started to write a book dedicated to how losing Troy actually led towards me having a relationship with God. It was admittedly hard to write as I decided to start from the beginning, and working through some of the trauma(for me) during my earlier years.

I don’t know if I’ve ever came right out and said it here, but I struggled with depression for sooo many years. It runs in the family and it had a hold on me for a long time. So as I was writing, I was finding it more and more difficult to continue because of all the emotions that it was invoking in me.

I came to a realization this week, that I fell for a trick of the enemy. I stopped writing a book that God told me to write because I allowed my flesh, my emotions to rule over me. Looking back I realize that if I need to cry while I’m writing my message then so be it. My readers will be able to feel the passion in my words and maybe just maybe it will save someone.

I’m giving myself a deadline and an action plan to complete one aspect of my mission here on earth. If there is something that God has placed on your heart, I urge you to make a move today. There will never be a perfect time, there will always be something that comes up.

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Personal Development For The New Year

Lately I have been feeling stuck in terms of what to do with my career, and my life in general. I’ve discussed this with my current supervisor, and I just don’t feel mentally stimulated anymore. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the promotion and the pay raise that came with it. That raise will definitely help my family out as we continue to house hunt. The problem;however, is that my job role essentially stayed the same.

I’ve just been feeling like I need to go deeper. Deeper with my relationship with Christ, deeper in my relationships, and deeper in my own personal development. With 2020 approaching in two months, we will all be going into a new decade. Instead of waiting until the new year to make resolution goals, I was wondering if anyone would want to join me in reading at least one personal development book.

If this is something that you are interested in, then please comment below. I don’t have a book in mind just yet, but I would love to be able to discuss takeaways, and how we can implement the strategies in our lives.

Free Devotional

This will be a really quick post. I just wanted to remind everyone that today is the last day to get Stillbirth and Christ, a seven day devotional, for free. If the Lord has been whispering in your heart to come closer, then please do not miss this opportunity. My only hope is that others will heal from their pain like I did by surrendering to Christ.

Gotta Have Faith

If you would have told me last year that I would be at peace and not miserable, that I would actually have a child in my arms, I would have scoffed.

Can I be transparent?

I would have been indifferent if you told me that I would come to worship the Lord in the manner that I do. I believed in Him sure, but I did not worship Him.

I did not have faith.

I grew up Christian and I can remember wondering how God could be so great, and yet, my family was always in some type of struggle. I could remember wondering why were we so poor or dysfunctional.

It was not until I began to actively seek Him that I started to understand that some of trials that we face are to build us up. See, we learn more effectively when we go through something, not when it’s easy.

Raising a rainbow baby is a trial in itself. I hold on tighter to him because I know what it is like to not see life in your child. I appreciate more. I no longer put money on a pedestal, I no longer want to work, work, work. It took me losing my child for me to realize what was truly important.

I was angry with God initially, but I began to read His word, and I read books on how to hear from Him. When I finally surrendered to Him, I had peace. Now on Troy’s date, my family does not mourn him. We do not sit around and be moody, we do not plan to be sad or depressed on his day. No, we plan vacations to be together as a family, to uplift one another, and to appreciate one another.

So, no matter what you are going through, Seek God, have faith, and be amazed.

If you liked this post, please comment below or give me a like. I would like to start interacting with my followers and building a community. Also, Stillbirth and Christ is still available for free on Amazon until Tuesday the 17th.

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Stillbirth and Christ

As you all know from my previous posts, that I lost my firstborn, Troy, in 2018. During that time I grew closer to our Lord God as I had no one, other than my husband, to lean on. I lost friends that could not wrap their minds around the fact that I needed time to cope, I had family members not even want me to bring up my son’s name. My ‘support’ system had seemed to go away when I lost my son and it made me appreciate those that were there for me, even more.

During my grief process, I tried working out, I was admittedly obsessed with getting pregnant once more, and more importantly I began to talk to God more. About five months after Troy’s death, my husband and I conceived Silas.

The Lord blessed us and we welcomed Silas this year. I was nervous during my pregnancy with him since we did not know why we lost Troy, but I did not turn away from God. Instead, I prayed every day and I did feel some peace in that because I heard Him say that I would get to raise this child here on Earth.

But during my time of grieving and carrying Silas, I noticed that a lot of other loss moms were turning away from the Lord. They were all so angry and instead of leaning on Him, they abandoned their faith.

Because of all of this, I decided to write a seven day devotional, Stillbirth and Christ. I want others to turn towards the Lord and receive Him like I did. I want others to heal and to know that He is with them in their pain. I do not know why some of us have to go through this, all I know is that I want to celebrate Troy’s memory by helping others.

You can find Stillbirth and Christ on Amazon exclusively. This book will be free for download Monday, September 16th, to Tuesday, September 17th. I am offering this for free for those that may not have the money and need this word.

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