Being The Only Black Woman Can Be Isolating

Now hear me out about this, it can be extremely isolating being the only black woman in my group. It can be extremely isolating being the only mother in my group. I lost a lot of friends in the lay-off three years ago, and now I’m in a stage where there’s a big gap of ages.

Everyone seems to be fresh out of college, and it’s honestly hard to relate. I’ve been out of undergrad for almost four years now, and it’s amazing how much can change in so little time.

Others assume that I don’t like them because I don’t join in on their sex talks or about getting drunk. I think there is a time and place for everything, and work is not the place for such talks. I feel as though I’m in the minority on this.

I saw an article that explained how you can’t be black and an introvert in the work place. Black women have a stereotype of being angry, and so when I keep to myself, working on projects, I’m seen as not social by my group. I’m seen as not being helpful because I choose be productivity over standing around in a room, chatting, while others do a task that only takes thirty minutes.

I’ve tried to shift the conversations away from unsavory topics onto more work related or at the very least ‘PG’ subjects.

I titled this post, Being The Only Black Woman Can Be Isolating, because I have noticed over the years how much harder I have to work than my coworkers. I have noticed that if I’m not in everyone’s face, telling jokes, than I’m seen as having an attitude.

I think the only way these stereotypes will change is by talking about our challenges. I could keep all this bottled up, but that would only serve to hurt me or come out in a negative way.

Dealing With Burnout

October is national infant loss awareness month, and as most of you know, my husband and I lost our firstborn, Troy. I had no intention of being sad this month. Instead I wanted to honor Troy by spending more time with family, and just being happy that he is my son. Unfortunately things didn’t pan out how I envisioned.

Between the disconnect with my mom, pressures from my employer, and pressures from my business, my soul was left vulnerable. Typically I am able to cope with the loss stories, but this month was hard. I kept hearing that I was going to birth this, deliver that, or I would see my rainbow’s name in the same sentence as death, and honestly it got to me.

This week, I needed to take a step back. I had to recharge myself and seek God more heavily. I had to remind myself to put on my armor every single day. I needed to get back to just sitting in silence.

This weekend, if you have been dealing with some burnout, I encourage you to go back to basics. Turn your phone off for a couple of hours, and just be still. Seek God, journal, or even play video games. The point is to recharge your battery.