Sorry, I’ve Been MIA

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to send out a quick update. I have not forgotten about The Armor of God bible study. I know I was supposed to summarize each week my take aways and how I’m implementing the skills and strategies in my everyday life.

As you all know, I was pretty knee deep into the home buying process, and my family and I actually closed and moved in back in December! Moving right before Christmas was so hectic, but luckily for us, the weather was actually pretty decent for winter. I admittedly got caught up with the closing process and just trying to get settled in our new home. I still have boxes that we need to unpack. During our move though, Silas and I both got sick. First Silas had a little bit of a cold, but it wasn’t too bad, so I thought we were going to make it out of his first cold easy.

I was wrong.

I then got sick from Silas. I kept running fevers, and actually ended up with an ear infection. It was so bad that I didn’t get to spend Christmas with my in laws. My sister in law is pregnant, and it wouldn’t have been a great idea to be around her when I was so sick. At one point I couldn’t even make it out of bed without help.

Remember when I said I was wrong about Silas’s first cold being easy? Well, he got sick again. Probably from me. It got so bad that I ended up making him an appointment. He wouldn’t stop crying because he was running fevers, and he wasn’t eating because he was crying so much. He ended up getting an ear infection and the flu.

I’m happy to report that we are both fine, and luckily Ben didn’t get sick. So, I will be back to updating at least once a week. Sorry I went so long without talking to you guys.

Also, don’t forget to check out my new podcast, Parenting after loss, on apple podcasts and spotify. I’m looking to get it on google play soon.

Holiday Season

Last Sunday, my family and I had our Thanksgiving with the in-laws as Ben’s parents were going to be out of town on Thanksgiving day. I was a little tired from having to work that morning, but generally, I was pretty excited to spend time with family, and it was also Silas’s first Thanksgiving meal.

Everyone had eaten by the time I got there, but they were all still sitting around the table chatting. Almost immediately, my mother in law shares with me this ornament that she had made with everyone’s name on it, starting with her and my father in law. It was an ornament with all of the children and grandchildren’s names, except for Troy’s name.

My heart sunk.

I had to hold back the urge to just leave. When I handed the ornament back, she stated how she had room for four more grandkids. I know this was said in a joking manner, but at the time, it was just another dagger through the heart. This statement led to my brother in law announcing that they would be having another baby that is due in May.

Troy was supposed to be born in May.

They also mentioned that they waited until the 13-week mark to tell us. Many wait until this time because it is considered the safe zone.

Another dagger.

My message today is to be gentle with everyone this season. Holidays can be a mixture of grief and happiness for some. While I am forever grateful to have Silas, raising a child after loss does come with its own unique challenges. Anything family-related where we have to write names, Ben and I always write Troy’s name, because he mattered.

And please do not be the person that is asking others when they are going to be having children or having more children. This could cause issues with the couple or it could bring a spotlight on what they don’t have.